Hi Guys
My first Blog – all reports will be posted here.
Another excellent turnout last night resulting in a really good game of football. However at the end of the day, one team was just too good, too skilful and simply better than the opposition. Team Len humiliated Team Eddy in the middle of the park, destroyed them in defence and agitated them in attack. Team Len won comprehensively and without much competition, 5-1. Team Eddy began positively scoring first through Grant “Nandos” De Souza and then collapsed. Captain Eddy decided to revert to a 5-0-5 with no midfield which allowed the midfield of Eric “Ronaldo”, Max “The German” and Levi “I am better than Coze” Groner to dominate proceedings. Sensational goals silky passes, pinpoint crosses and good finishing was backed up by a strong defence of Captain Len, Bloch, Uli, Yves and Terry. Team Eddy was almost like a dream team: Combined whining from Lynton “Cabernet Sauvignon Blanc” Cassell and Dave “Cape Salmon” Silver, Screaming “Shut Up” from Daryn “Pepe Reina” Edison, tactical analysis from Mike “the Bulldozer” Silver and coaching from Ryan “Selfish Coach” Epstein was impressive but lacked the proper management which would have been provided by Jonny “out and out winger” Sachar – but he bailed after confirming. Well played to everyone. Team Len: Rob, Bloch, Terry, Yves, Uli, Tim, Levi, Ronaldo, Max, Cody and Hilton. Team Eddy: Eddy, Dave, Mike, Blumberg, Nkoni, Pier, Epstein, Brad, Adam, Grant and Lynton.
Man of the Match: the midfield was awesome last night and marshalled by Levi “I am better than Coze” Groner – was unstoppable. Levi dominated proceedings controlling the play, slipping threw some fantastic passes, putting in accurate crosses and scoring a fantastic goal combined guile and skill with deadly finishing.
Goal of the Game: There were a number of great goals, however it was CAPTAIN EDDY who led the way scoring a wonderful “Pepe Reina” type goal – wonder why Liverpool keep coming second?? Eddy was in goals when a tame shot came his way – how tame you ask? If Lynton, Jonny and the ball were in a foot race, the ball would lose and that is saying something because of the pace of the former. In any case, as the ball came to Eddy, Aliens landed, a 9.8 earthquake hit the Richter scale and hot molten lava surfaced from the stadium pipes distracting Eddy long enough for the ball to bobble through his legs and into the goals. If you visit Skysports.com you will see the new League table is up and Liverpool are ahead of Man United – Awesome!!
TFC (thanks for coming): Jonny “out and out winger” Sachar confirmed via email at 13h41 that he was “In”. Did that mean in town, in touch with your feminine side or in for Wednesday. You let everyone down – how can the manager not pitch for the game. I know that is how clubs like Spurs, Portsmouth and Newcastle might play in some games in between sacking and appointing new managers – but it’s not how our professional unit acts. Poor form mate!!!! A special thanks to Marek for not playing as well.
The “Rob “the Annihilator” Len” Award: we do have a new winner of the award. Grant’s mate Adam “tackle or foul” I don’t know his surname was devastating last night. He put in two or three smashing tackles (from behind) yet he managed to avoid the ref’s whistle and got the ball and player with precision. Mention must be made of the Annihilator Len and Bulldozer Silver who also put in some nasty challenges. Cape Salmon Silver also put in some hefty fouls!!!!
“Ian Dowie” Miss of the Game Award: Grant “Nandos” De Souza (Portuguese version of Michael Owen) scored a wonderful opening goal but followed up with an embarrassing miss literally on the line. He was alone with only keeper Len to beat and he blazed it over the bar. His finishing last night is reminiscent of his finishing on PES 2009. Practice, practice – please see Coach Epstein when you have a moment.
Silver’s “My Gut” Award: Dave “Cape Salmon” Silver was flat on his stomach yelling for a foul from Max the German. Silver simply fell over his own feet and had to scream foul. Lucky he has a gut to fall onto to cushion the blow.
The FINE Whine Award:
“Are you happy with the teams Bloch?” Cape Salmon Silver whining as usual.
“Silver shut up!!!” Eddy whining at his keeper to concentrate and not moan at Bloch.
“Pass the fucking ball Epstein” – his entire team moaning at Epstein to pass.
“We have three out and out strikers in Brad, Lynton and Grant” – Mike, Eddy and Dave bitching as their team sank faster than the Titanic.
A special WHINE AWARD – never before seen in our game. After going 3-1 down Team Eddy called a time out (what are we, the NBA??). A team huddle to discuss tactics. It looked like a group of the Village people getting ready to do their next number. That huddle did not work and neither did the second huddle which only attracted the truly gay members of the team!! (Eddy, Dave and Mike)
Greg Nafte “Most Selfish Player” Award: this is shared by none other than Epstein who cannot seem to see with the bright lights – always complaining that he could not see his team mates whether they were standing next to him or 5 meters away from him. Bradley “back for most likely a week only” Stern tried to dribble his way through Uli and Yves without success and then shot from any angle. Welcome back to Liverpool’s most under rated striker. Finally Nandos De Souza after scoring one goal thought the entire field was his oyster shooting every time he got the ball – even from a goal kick.
Chirp of the Day: “Shut up Silver, you speaking more than Bloch” Daryn “Pepe Reina” Edison screamed from the half way line to Dave Silver. Who would have thought that anyone could speak more than Bloch? Thanks for the support Eddy but unfortunately there is no way Silver could speak more than me. He could definitely whine more than me, especially when he wears his salmon coloured shirt.
See you guys on Wednesday.
The Footy Report 